Science Can Be Tricky

The following are all alleged to be things written by students in science exams and assignments. Whether completely true, or not – they are amusing for a Sunday morning!

“The body consists of three parts – the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five – a, e, i, o, and u.”

“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.”

“A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places, and so they look like umbrellas.”

“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”

“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”

“Liter: A nest of young puppies.”

“Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

“Vacuum: A large, mansion where the pope lives.”

“To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”

“For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.”

“For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”

“To prevent contraception, use a condominium.”

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